*queue angelic chorus music*
It was a gray rainy morning on July 21, 2009 , when I found out that “Remember Me” would be filming 4 short blocks away from my own personal hell (a/k/a place of work). All hail the rain!!! Bad weather, less fans… No paps pictures on sight. No tweets galore. (Side note: Allow me to send a big wave and and a “HOLLA!” to all those IDIOTS that tweet play by play regarding what’s happening on set. Now… WTF do I care if you’re standing by or on the garbage? Too bad the garbage truck didn’t come and take you with it!). Sorry I got sidetracked. Lets continue… So yeah, all of those factors mentioned before could amount to the so awaited picture with His Majesty (a/k/a Robert Pattinson). YESSSSSS! The one and ONLY! Oooooh the possibilities! One’s GOTS to lurrrrve NYC! So exciting!!!
Clock turns 5:30 p.m. and I jet the hellz outta work! Make it to location in 10 minutes! Lemme tell ya, power walking is a bitch with my old knees but fuck-it! It’s fucking Robert Pattinson dammit! Crickets I hear, CRICKETS! Rpattz has been inside the building for hours, or so I’ve been told. Ok. I’ve got experience in the waiting department after a whole month of 100% stalking (well… 80% to be honest). I can wait! Hours pass by and no sighting. Nothing better than people watching. On a recession like ours, I’ll take as much free entertainment I can get! I start watching the PAs (what does PA stands for anyways? Personal Ass-wipe? Production Asshole? Pricks Anonymous? I could think of a few more but I don’t wanna bore you). Wait. I can’t believe my eyes! Ok, can someone explain to me why in the world would “Rpattz’ Fans” want to take pictures with the HELP? Please explain that to me because I must be stupid or something since I can’t grasp the concept! Ladies! It is NOT cute to look desperate. Nor it is cute to dress like a whore to impress… Hm… who exactly are you trying to “impress” again? Did you know the “Service People” make fun of your sorry ass as soon as you turn around? Yeah, YOU are NOT cool for crushing on the “crew”. Actually, its somewhat embarrassing and really painful to watch. Why are you girls stooping to their level? Which is NOT high at all, let me tell ya. Ever heard of the term “Self Respect”? Maybe you oughta google that! ;-) .
Sorry I totally got off the subject! LOL. Where was I? Oh yes, the waiting patiently. So I’m chilling with a few friends, waiting for His Majesty. Its 10:30-ish p.m. Have I really been waiting here for a whole FIVE hours??? Ok, I’m pathetic. Then again, I had no other plans. I’m a single woman with no kids (and IF I was a mother and crazy enough to do this shit, I would certainly NOT bring my baby all the way from TEXAS or have my 11 year old kid sit on a dirty NYC sidewalk while being rained on (oh how I WISH you’d read this! you TWO crazy ladies know who you are) . Someone should call Child Protective Services on your ASSES!
Sigh. So Rpattz’ car gets moved from the road to inside the building's garage. The garage door is closed so at this point I’m thinking we won't see the ‘lil fucker at all. Yet, the side door to the garage is still open (so I see a ‘lil ray of hope) and...
*queue suspense music*
… I see movement! Staff people are exiting the building through that side door. THIS IS IT!!! THEY ARE COMING OUT!!! We will be able to get a miserable glimpse of Mr. P! Something’s better than nothing, right? Bodyguards start making a “human barricade” between the 25 fans (give or take a few) and the street. OH-MY-WORD!!!! ITS PIERCE BROSNAN!!! All hail 007!!!! Sooo MANLY! Soooo SEXY! Some girls yell his name. He looks at us and I believe he waved too, though my old eyes can’t see well in the darkness and my memory fails me all the time, but its good to imagine he did. His Majesty should follow soon! We wait a couple of minutes. They close the side door to the garage, and this is what we see…
Now... WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT IS THIS!!! No, it’s not a question, it’s a fucking statement!
Yeah… This idiot had the nerve of: (1) getting in the car without allowing us take a peek, (2) allow the driver to honk the horn before driving away, (3) without even rolling down the stupid fucking window so we could see his nasty ass dirty hair and his scrawny sorry ass pale stubbly face! Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but… he DID chose to be an actor… right? Don’t male actors (the cute ones) get a big chunk of female followers? Isn’t that like… IDK… DEFAULT? Im pretty sure he knew it was a package deal. Didn’t he live that with the whole Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire movie? It’s a given that the fans surrounding him back then were certainly NOT interested in him but in Daniel Radcliff. But still, he SAW what comes with fame. I have to admit, I am very curious to know how is it that PIERCE BROSNAN is able to walk around with MAYBE one bodyguard, smile, take pictures with fans, signal the peace sign for pictures, talks to the homeless and other forms of appreciation, and yet… Robert Pattinson can’t do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah… so he did “tend” to fans 3 days (prolly not even a 30 minute total in a whole month of filming?), still he never did so completely sober. Always smelling of alcohol and cigarrettes. Makes me wonder… is he really appreciative of the fans, or did "someone" make him come out and go through the dreading process of taking pictures with a handful of girls? Yeah, the same ones that buy his products, ergo, feeding his very mouth and ruining his bloody liver, staining his sodding lungs, paying for all his travels and buying his raggedy clothes!
All I'm saying is this... WE ALL BASICALLY PAY HIS FUCKING BILLS, AND HE CAN'T ROLL DOWN HIS STUPID PASSENGER'S SIDE WINDOW AND WAVE TO US? Oh, Excuse 'a moi Mr. President, I forgot we are just not worthy!
I am making a pact with me, myself and I that from now on I WILL NOT KNOWINGLY PURCHASE ANY SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT MERCHANDISE and/or ANY OTHER PRODUCT WHERE ROBERT PATTINSON IS INVOLVED, because if I'm not worthy a push of a button, then he's not worth my hard earned money. Of course I have to exclude the whole Twilight (Movies) thing from this pact, since I've read the books and own the first movie, but besides that, no more "official" Twilight merchandise for me!
GO SUCK IT!