Monday, December 28, 2009

I HATE New York

Quote taken from a YouTube comment:
"One day NY will be swallowed by the Ocean and it will become a reef. That would make some great scuba diving. "

North American cities I’ve visited? I have been to Los Angeles, San Francisco, Tampa, Orlando, Boca Raton, Chicago, Cleveland, Toronto, Montreal (I DID say NORTH American cities), and last but not least... Manhattan.

Maybe I should say I hate Manhattan... Downtown, Uptown but ESPECIALLY Midtown. I LOVE upstate New York but Manhattan, my dear friends, is where I spend most of my waking hours, so Manhattan is pretty much where I “live” (even though my bed is in New Jersey). So… for this blog entry purpose, when I say New York, I mean NYC.

I am so SICK AND TIRED of those people that DON’T live in NYC or work in NYC that say “I love New York”. Yeah, well… It’s pretty darn easy to love a city when you don’t live there. You can't possibly experience the REALITY of a city by just visiting once a year (or once in a lifetime). If you’re just a visitor, of course you’re gonna love it! You’re not working, so you get to bum around all damn day, go to Broadway shows, stroll around without a care in the world, take in the lights, the movement, you see all these restaurants around, street performers, underground hip bars, subways... All this shit makes you feel “cool” when you don’t have it in your daily life. Think deep tho… If you are just visiting, you are in no position to say you LOVE NEW YORK. You don’t know what New York is.

I remember the first time I came to NYC on vacation. I remember how I couldn't shut up about how I LOVED it here! Then again, I had no fucking clue what the fuck I was talking about. Visiting is NOT the same as living in this dump! I had a friend once who kept saying over and over and over again that New York was one of her favorite cities. That she LOVED it. She felt strongly about that love. Still, when she came to visit, she wouldn’t get near the subway. How the FUCK can you LOVE New York and not want to take the subway? The subway tunnels are like the fucking VEINS of NYC! After drilling a bit, you know what I found out? She just loved the Broadway shows and the museums cause that’s all she knew about NYC. I simply rolled my eyes. This is why most tourists (or people from UPSTATE NY love Manhattan. They just don’t have a fucking clue!

I have a friend who lives in Queens. She’s the SWEETEST person on EARTH I’ve ever met! I swear to the heavens that up until now, I have NEVER meet such a nice person. One morning I Tweet “I hate New York”, and after a few back and forth Tweets, she tells me this: “I remember once I was in the city, I slipped and fell (raining day) and everyone just kept walking past me and on top of me...”

One time I was waiting in line at a clothing store to pay for a couple of work shirts. This costumer was backing up the line since she was trying to argue (in Spanish – the Cashier was American) a return she wanted to make. Since I know both languages, I decided to help and translate for them both. It took us all a total of 43 minutes to get everything resolved. In the mentality of a newyorker, I lost 43 PRECIOUS minutes of my life. And guess what? I didn’t even get a “Thanks”. Not from the Cashier, not from the Costumer, not from the Manager. Not in English, not in Spanish.

The sadness of it all, is that I have become one of them. Survival of the fittest. One either adapts or gets pushed to the floor and walked over. I no longer hold the door open for people. I no longer say good morning or thank you. I no longer say bless you when strangers sneeze. I no longer take the time to give people directions. Most of the times I hesitate before helping someone. This saddens me, but it is the truth.

Not so long ago I read an article that excused newyorkers by saying that newyorkers are not rude, they just speak their minds. Believe me, I am ALL about speaking your mind, but when you bump onto someone cause you’re in such a rush (maybe you should have left a lil early, that way you wouldn’t be running late?) and you don’t say “sorry”… THAT’S RUDE. When someone holds a door open for a stranger to walk in and that stranger doesn’t say “thanks”… THAT’S RUDE. When someone trips and falls and no one goes to her help and people just keep walking without a care in the world… THAT’S RUDE. I’ve heard newyorkers say that they are determined, and assertive people, but that doesn’t give them the right to be total ASSHOLES.

So besides the ASSHOLES that live and hang in NYC what else is wrong with it you ask? Well, let me clue you in...

Lets talk a bit about "status" shall we? In NYC if you’re from Jersey its looked down upon. If you’re from Uptown, you got dough, if you’re from Downtown, you must be artsy, and forget about these two worlds mixing up. No idea what being from the Westside or Eastside means, nor I care a flying fuck to know. One thing I have noticed over the years here is that "what you do, is what makes you", and "who you know, will take you places". It is a very selfish city... Everybody's out for themselves and trying to find who they can meet to advance themselves in the "game." What you do for a living will earn you acquaintances (not to be confused with the word "friends" which gets tossed out there often). Tell them you’re a secretary, and you’re at the bottom of the barrel. Tell them you’re a legal assistant, they look at you in a different light. Tell them you’re an attorney and the world is your playground.

There’s WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS DAMN CITY! Everybody is up in your damn space. Imagine crowded elevators, crowded buses, crowded subways, crowded crosswalks/streets, crowded coffee places... They cough on you, they sneeze on you, you have to smell their stench, their farts, walk all over their garbage. Yes, cause where there's people, there’s garbage and NYC is fucking FULL of them both

Oooooh and it wouldnt be NYC if it didn't have its long time friends lurking around.... Like garbage, where there’s masses of people, stupidity reigns... people waving their hands while talking on the sidewalk, the same sidewalk people are trying to walk on to get to their destination. Diagonal walkers when most of us are trying to walk straight... I just want to kick them every time I encounter them which is pretty much every damn day! People that walk forward while looking up, or to their right, or their left, or even looking back! How come you haven’t been hit by a bus yet??? Please DO!!!! ....

NYC IS WAY TOO DAMN EXPENSIVE! Everything is expensive! The rent, the clothes, the food, museums (if you don’t know your way around THAT), Broadway shows, even fucking bottled water is expensive here. Who wants to pay $5 for a bottle of water? CERTAINLY NOT ME! Taxis charge you to basically open their car door... subways fares keep going up.

Even the damn weather sucks here! We get like 2 to 3 weeks of perfect weather and it’s not all in a row! Yeah... I know what you all "I love the snow" people are thinking. I love it too! I love ONLY the first time that snows and ONLY if it snows on a Friday night or a Saturday. Nobody... and I can assure you this is true... NOBODY wants to commute in the snow. Tell me I'm wrong so I can beat some sense into you!

Snow is ONLY white when its falling from the sky.

Most people I’ve encountered in this city are inconsiderate, selfish, disrespectful, out for blood, cutthroat, ruthless, sneaky, lying sons of bitches. Truth of the matter is that there are 8+ million people in NYC and you are bound to find every personality type imaginable here, and I am by no means saying that ALL newyorkers are rude, but I can certainly vouch for the people I encounter every fucking day in this damned city.

I can’t fucking wait to get out of here. My world will definitely be a better place.

I leave you now with two videos. The first one is an EXCELLENT monologue scene from a NYC movie called "25th Hour". The second one is a very funny lady that almost made me pee my pants cause I just couldn't stop laughing. Enjoy!

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