Sunday, September 12, 2010

Zen Quotes

  1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either; just FUCK off and leave me alone.
  2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
  3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
  4. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  5. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  6. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
  8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  9. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  10. Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

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