TopSeaCrets: Funnies

Showing posts with label Funnies. Show all posts

Monday, December 6, 2010

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Monday, November 15, 2010

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Monday, October 18, 2010

Peek-a-boo!

Can someone tell me where the pants went?

Just wondering.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Monday, September 27, 2010

Monday, September 13, 2010

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Zen Quotes

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either; just FUCK off and leave me alone.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

From HERE

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

How 2 tick people off

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

11. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
12. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
13. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
14. Honk and wave to strangers.
15. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
16. type only in lowercase.
17. dont use any punctuation either
18. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"

"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
19. Ask people what gender they are.
20. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
21. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
22. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."