"The land of dreams"

Its like the horse following the carrot where they keep on and on and on trying to reach something that is rarely reached. Still, they stay in the country for that dream.... that promise. that psychobabble bullshit that is fed to all of us by those that BLINDLY love "America."

So many immigrants come here with the "promise" of a better life and end up getting the shittiest jobs, the shittiest pay, and the longest shittiest work hours. then rent is so expensive that 5 families end up having to share a ONE bedroom apartment all cramped up, to make ends meet.

Is it really worth it? Even though I was one of the "lucky" ones and landed a well paying job in the not so big apple... I say.... NO!!!

...While the land of the GREED is the home of the SLAVES...

I should have come back home LONG LONG ago!

Calvo

Dice una bolilla de cera: 'Cada día entra un bastoncito y quiere sacarme. Me escondo detrás de un cartílago y no me pilla'.

Dice la carie: 'A mí cada día me persigue una cosa con pilas que intenta sacarme. Me escondo entre las muelas y no me pilla'.

Dice el hongo vaginal: 'Pues a mí siempre me viene a ver un calvito. Nunca sabe si quiere entrar o salir. Ya no sé dónde esconderme. Siempre se marea y me vomita encima'

Y dice la carie: '¡¡¡¡¡¡A ese cabrón lo conozco yo!!!!!'

Maid

Our Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.
My wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'
Maria: 'Well, Señora, there are three reasons why I want an increase.' The first is that I iron better than you.'
Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'
Maria: 'Your husband said so.'
Wife: 'Oh.'Maria: ' The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.'
Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'
Maria: 'Your husband did.'
Wife: 'Oh.'Maria: 'My third reason is that I am a better lover than you..'
Wife: (really furious now): 'Did my husband say that as well?'
Maria: 'No Señora...the gardener did.'
Wife: 'So how much do you want?

DAMN PUERTO RICANS

Gabriel came to the Lord and said... "Lord, I have to talk to you. We have some Puerto Ricans up here who are causing problems. My horn is missing, they have sofrito and recao all over the kitchen, they are making guayaberas from their robes, they have dominos tables in the cafeteria, and they're wearing baseball caps instead of their halos. They refuse to stop making Puerto Rican coffee on the heaven's stairs, they are setting up cock fights in the clouds, and some of them are walking around with just one wing."

The Lord said, " Puerto Ricans are Puerto Ricans, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil."

The Devil answered the phone: "Hello? Damn, hold on a minute." The Devil returned to the phone "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?"

Gabriel replied "I just want to know what kind of problems you're having down there."
The Devil said "Hold on again. I need to check on something."

After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said "I'm back,Now what was the question?" Gabriel said "What kind of problems are you having down there?" The Devil said "Man, I don't believe this.....Hold on."

This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Those damn Puerto Ricans have put out the fire and are trying to install air conditioning."