A WTF moment

Makes you wonder whats floating ...

... in some people's brain.

Deep fried

Most know that we puertorricans LOVE fried foods, but this is a lil over the top! What do you think?

Fried scorpions.

Fried sparrows.

Snooki food... Fried pickles!

This is in the grossest foods I've ever seen... Fried Mars bar?? YUCK!

Fried strawberries. I'd actually like to try this.

SOURCE

Moving.... Again.

So it's time to prep for my new journey... Orlando!

If you are my friend or know me, you must be thinking I'm crazy. Not for moving to Orlando , but because I keep moving. Seven months ago, I was living in New Jersey, working in Manhattan and feeling completely miserable. So I decided to move back to my country, Puerto Rico. Well, I've had five fantastic months of doing absolutely nothing and two months of pure work aggravation. What can I say... Some people should not be allowed to leave their houses. That's all Ima say 'bout that!

After careful consideration (and still pondering) I have come to the conclusion that I need to go back to the States. Although I would love, love, LOVE to stay here, it's just not an option at this moment for me. I can deal with the Summer heat. I can deal with the bad work conditions. I can deal with the morons I encounter on the highway every morning and every afternoon. I can deal with the stupidity that surrounds me every day. I can deal with not having as much money as I used to. I can deal with not living in a "city" where everything is accessible 24/7. I can even deal with the total absence of nightlife. But... you know what I can't deal with? I can't deal with not having enough cell phone signal to make phone calls whenever my lil heart desires. I can't deal with wanting to buy something online, and being declined the product because the seller won't ship here. I can't deal with being all excited about a movie that's coming out and then find out that the movie won't show here because there's no market for it. I can't deal with wanting to watch a show from CW, NBC or any other TV Network and not being allowed to because of my "geographic region". I can't deal with applying for a job, getting hired, to later find out that I'll be doing 5 other jobs in addition to the one I was hired for (its happened to me THREE times!). I can't deal with the fact that we are not allowed to stream movies from Amazon.com or Netflix (sign petition here) and who knows what other businesses. I can't deal with going to a fast food restaurant and having to wait 30 minutes for my food because the cashier and the food dispatcher have not finished their conversation about the non-happenings of last night. I can't deal with the continuous CableTV service outages.

All these might not be enough for you to make a move, but they are certainly enough for me. And even though I'm a lil scared of moving once again... I'm actually looking forward to it and see what's in store for me.

Orlando events and discounts @CentralFLTop5, @CenterdinOrlndo, @DealmapOrlando.
Websites to read: Orlando Blog, Orlando Centinel , and Downtown Orlando.
Pictures (Source, Source)

Netflix Streaming

I recently bought a NETFLIX ready BluRay player to later find out that NETFLIX streaming is not allowed in Puerto Rico. NETFLIX customers (and/or future customers)!!!! In case you didn’t know, YOU pay the same amount of money than USA residents and THEY receive more services than you do. USA residents (not to be confused with being American Citizens) are allowed to stream movies straight to their BluRay players or NETFLIX ready HD-TV’s without having to wait for a DVD to arrive in the mail. Why should all of us Puerto Rico residents pay full price for a half-assed service? If you pay your monthly fee, you should be receiving the same services as our USA resident neighbors!

Dear NETFLIX:

As far as I know, Puerto Rico has been USA territory since 1900’s as a result of the Spanish-American War. Later, as a result, its residents were collectively made American Citizens AND I’m positive that you know Puerto Rico’s currency is the American Dollar. Needless to say, USA legislates over many fundamental aspects of Puertorrican life, including currency, postal service, foreign affairs, military defense, welfare, the environment, commerce, labor relations, finance, and COMMUNICATIONS among many other areas. So you see, Puerto Rico IS US TERRITORY. USA residents pay the same amount of money and are under the same customer plans as Puerto Rico residents, so why can’t Puerto Rico receive the same services? Why are we being restricted of a service when paying the same as a USA resident even though Puerto Rico is USA territory? My petition to your company is to kindly allow the Puerto Rican residents that pay for your services to receive all the services that our fellow USA residents receive. I request that NETFLIX allows its Puerto Rico residents’ clientele to stream movies and TV Series to our NETFLIX ready devices. Please have a lil talk with the FCC and lets get this issue resolved. Lets put an end to this COMMERCIAL DISCRIMINATION.

Thank you!

Seriously???

My back is KILLING ME!

So I'm browsing around for personal massagers (not to be confused with vibrators!) and I bump into this...

Seriously???

Light you up!

Approximately 11 years ago I bought a used car. It was about 10 years old, it cost me $5K and it was in perfect conditions. I was young and stupid and didn't take care of my new old car, so within a couple years, it just wanted to be put to rest. So... I sold it and moved out of the country, cause that was the plan. After "The Bastard", I owned 2 cars. Both new. I loved them both. Before moving back home I decided to have my mom buy my car for me so I'd have wheels from the second I stepped on... The Island. Well, not everything goes as planned. Tho the "Green Hornet" currently known as the "HumBug" did give me 2 months of good road times. Now he's asking to be put to rest. Problem is, that I can't. I need wheels here! So, my dear HumBug, until I get a job and save enough to get a new car, WE are gonna have to deal. So please, be somewhat good to me, and I'll pay you the same respect. Until that time comes... I'll dream of this

White ass holes

I will never understand the cosmetic world's obsession with whitening (or lightening) everything!

Skin...

Hair...

Teeth...

And now... you can bleach your ASS HOLE and your LABIA with this magic cream!

What in the world is it with this human obsession of being white and/or having what some consider to be "white" traits and/or physical features??? Who's gonna care what color your ass hole or your labia is? I mean... REALLY????

There's obviously a market for this if this is still selling, so my question is simply... Who the fuck has the time to apply this thing "multiple times" per day??? Oh, and lets not forget that this cream does not offer permanent results so if you want a white pale sick looking ass hole, you're gonna have to bleach it for the rest of your sorry petty ridiculous life!

Good heavens!

Si yo fuera presidente...

I'd make a law where it would be MANDATORY to have at least one 6 feet all mirror in ever household.No, lady! Walking around like THIS in Old San Juan (and pretty much make everybody and their grandmothers look at you) is NOT right!

If you don't have the body for it, please... DON'T WEAR IT!

YUCK!

Double Take

Just when I thought I'd seen "everything", I find this at the Fajardo Ferry Station...

I mean... REALLY???? LOL!

"The land of dreams"

Its like the horse following the carrot where they keep on and on and on trying to reach something that is rarely reached. Still, they stay in the country for that dream.... that promise. that psychobabble bullshit that is fed to all of us by those that BLINDLY love "America."

So many immigrants come here with the "promise" of a better life and end up getting the shittiest jobs, the shittiest pay, and the longest shittiest work hours. then rent is so expensive that 5 families end up having to share a ONE bedroom apartment all cramped up, to make ends meet.

Is it really worth it? Even though I was one of the "lucky" ones and landed a well paying job in the not so big apple... I say.... NO!!!

...While the land of the GREED is the home of the SLAVES...

I should have come back home LONG LONG ago!

WTF?!?!?!

Imagine waking up and peeking out the window and seeing this:

Now, imagine knowing you have to actually go to work on a day like this.

That, my dear friends, is my reality.

There is nothing worse than waking up to this and having to walk under this hellish snow.

Im wearing a wifebeater, a sweater, a fleece jacket, a bubble coat, pants, leg warmers, 2 pairs of socks, scarf, ear warmers, winter hat, gloves, snow boots, and I'M STILL FUCKING COLD!!!

It does make for pretty pictures. No, that's not me. This is another misserable soul that had to venture out to go to work... Same as me.


On days like this... I hate my life!

Fueled by fear

Like any regular Wednesday, my alarm clock goes off at 8 a.m. Then my battery alarm clock goes off at 8:10 a.m. Then my phone alarm goes off at 8:15 am and now I know I HAVE to wake up and start my day.

Sigh.It's freezing outside, of course. I hate my life.

I arrive to work. Turn on my computer. Log in to Twatter, Lamebook, Yapoo (total rutine), then open up Endi.com to read about how many dead people were found in the gutter or how much money puertorrican senators make (which btw its OBSCENE and utterly GROSS).

Around 10:30 a.m., we get an announcement from the building's security office letting us know that there's a suspicious van parked outside the building and that everybody that has an office facing Broadway Avenue should move towards the offices facing 7th Avenue.

I roll my eyes. Browse around the web some more.

A few minutes pass and we get yet another announcement stating the same thing but adding that they have not been offered any more information. NOW people are panicking. People are walking around the office disoriented... nervous. Nobody knows what to do. The office manager tells everybody to stay in their offices like usual. People are just not about to listen. During these times when America is TOLD to be aware of their surroundings cause there's TERROR lurking in the corners (left AND right), all you need is that ONE person to panic to set that chain reaction in motion.

Aaaaand you better believe it... It happened.

I intended to stay in the office and blog for a bit, but then one of my co-workers pulled me by my hand, winked at me and said "lets get outta here... I'll buy you a coffee". No need to twist my hand to get out of that fucking hell I have to go to every hellish weekday.

Two other co-workers joined our "coffee" group. What a MESS they were! Eyes wide open, a lil shaky, stuttering and faces all flushed. I mean... seriously?

Pardon me, but if there was in fact a terrorist attack in any part of this world, we we would all know by the big "BOOM" the "message" would leave. Terrorists are SMART! And add to that the fact that the media pretty much tells them what they should avoid if they in fact wanna kill a couple hundred people... or crash a plane. They KNOW what they are doing and they don't hesitate. They dive in and kill themselves in the process. They don't do fucking "Hollywood" high tech remote control activator devices bullshit. They go in and get their "job" done.

A parked car is a PRANK! Someone obviously was too damn bored and thought... "Hey, let me steal a van, put some trash inside it and park it right smack in the middle of Times Square and see what happens."Yep... That's where I work...

I wonder if whoever did it was outside laughing and peeing on him or her own self! It was a COLD day so I suppose a lil warm pee can't be so bad.
All in all, I think the whole thing was super ridiculous, but I'm glad it happened cause our superiors at work, sent all of us home.

I was home by 1pm!!!

And THAT, my friends... Its PURE heaven!

Mrs. Pac-man

This is going to sound really funny, but last week, my dog ate my vibrator.

Yeps... She totally destroyed my favorite purple toy.

I have to give it to her, she can really eat just about everything. She ate a chunk off one of my dinning set chairs. She devoured a brillo pad that was stuffed in a hole next to the heat radiator (to prevent any mice from coming inside my apt). She ate a box of chocolates I left on my night stand. She destroyed my Lost Season 5 DVDs. She ate my cell phone charger. She has destroyed every single dog toy I've bought her (exept for her "Kong"). Yeah... Inspector Butters is an avid chewer! There is no doubt about it!

Anyways... I've been browsing around to replace my very own loyal "lover" (LOL), and OMG I haven't seen so many weird looking things in less than 30 minutes!

I could totally have a bunch of these as a centerpiece... or in a fish tank! Oh-so-pretty.

What are these two for you ask? Well... They are Nipple Teasers! They are "quiet, discreet, soft, pliable and wireless."

Catch line for this on the site? "Give your pussy something to play with the pussy pets..."

That certainly got a laugh outta me!

Got Pineapple?

This lil explanation really got me cracking the fuck up!

"Sweet and exotic, the sugary juices of a ripe pineapple fill your mouth and run down to your nipples for your lover to lick off! For the sweetest satisfaction, grind the large yellow pineapple and its bullet vibrator against your joy button and lips."

Excuse me while I feel stupid but... WTF is a joy button?

Find all sorts of crazy fun stuff here ---> jelly vibrator

I really loved my purple god. It's gonna be hard (no pun inteded) to find a replacement :-(

No breathing allowed

Such a pretty little park.
But please... Do not breathe while in the premises.
Thank you!

Xmas confusion?

Well... If you still haven't bought your loved one anything for Xmas, just drop by this house! They have fans, funky creepy looking dolls, hub caps... You name it, they've got it!



The stuff I gots to see in my neighborhood! lol